


Questionable Taste

by SimplyTsundere



Series: Writing Requests [28]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based off a song, Bathroom Sex, Challenge fic, Cop Levi, Drummer Jean, Forgive Me, Guitarist Mikasa, M/M, One Shot, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Smut, Vocalist Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 06:42:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12978306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyTsundere/pseuds/SimplyTsundere
Summary: While practicing with his band before a gig, Eren Jaeger is having serious trouble with band concentration. During the time they are finally able to get back to practicing, there comes a knock at the garage door. The moment Eren raises the door his stomach curdles. In front of him stands a police officer, one that he knows by a birthmark behind the man's right ear. Summoned from a noise complaint, the officer must do as protocol dictates and run their names through the system. When he returns, the officer makes no hint that he remembers Eren, and the fact they were a couple eight years prior in college. A time of drugs, alcohol, and partying did not make for a good relationship, and Eren recalled everything the moment he laid eyes on the officer. What happens, however, when Eren is determined to face the past, face something that has long since haunted him, by telling Officer Levi Ackerman that he owes him for the horrible things he'd said when he left him? Levi is tasked with attending Eren's performance, where things will finally come to light in unexpected ways.





	Questionable Taste

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to another one shot! So, I was challenged to write a one shot by taking the first three songs that my spotify list played (via shuffle) and attempting to weave a story from it. I will tell you the songs at the end of the fic. I never expected to have to use a song to write something, but it was definitely fun to try!! I only wish it didn't have to be so angsty! I hope you'll enjoy it though anyone in this situation would not react this way - the realism took a hit here! (OOPS).
> 
> ~Hugs & Kisses,  
> ❤♠Neko❤♠

“Jean!” Eren shouted as he heard the rhythm break. “Get your head outta your fucking pants, or I’m gonna shove one of those drumsticks up your fucking nose!” Another jam session where the guy couldn’t keep his head out of the bartender’s pants….ugh. They had a gig tonight. He got that the bartender made goo-goo eyes at him all night, that they even routinely fooled around in the storage room, but dammit they had to actually get through the set list before they even got up on the stage. Being back in his hometown felt wrong anyhow, but combine that with the fact that they were all distracted for some reason or another and it made for a disastrous combination. Glancing around, Eren sighed and stepped away from his mic. He needed a bit of water and it appeared everyone else could use the break as well.

Mikasa’s hair fell into her face as she reached down to sit down the guitar in her hands. After a moment, the shoulder length raven hair was being tied up and her olive crop jacket was tossed to the sofa. Jean likely would have retorted to the comment he’d made earlier had he not been staring down at his phone screen. This was going to be one bad decision after another. Everything was telling him that he shouldn’t have stepped foot back in the hellhole of a town he was born in. College had been hard enough, and he didn’t care to remember a single thing about it. Now, he was stuck there performing at a bar he used to frequent, memories plastered in the back, right, corner booth.

It would be nearly impossible to ignore when he stepped up on that stage, yet he’d have to ignore it to perform. He heaved out a heavy sigh and looked back to Jean. Chewing on his lip ring, one of the two punched through his bottom lip, Jean stuck his phone into his pocket and rushed a hand through sweat beaded flaxen and pecan hair. At least Jean had made one good decision and it was cutting his hair. An undercut made it easier on him when performing, it was a lesson Eren had learned himself. Upper layer of shaggy mocha hair was kept tied back to reveal a low undercut. Mostly, Eren preferred to keep it off his neck, as the stage lights could often get too hot.

Wearing his normal tight jeans and open, white button up was normally bordering on too hot as well. It was the middle of summer so a densely packed bar wasn’t ideal, temperature wise, but at least there was booze for afterwards. It was the little things that got him through that idea. Getting through the practice was going to be the first step to that however.

“Alright, guys, let’s go again. Pick up with Fallen Angel,” Eren sighed as he downed his bottle of water and headed back to the mic stand. Mikasa and Jean both nodded as they took their positions. Thankfully, Jean seemed to be in the moment and Mikasa was on the same page as well. Things seemed to be going well, but there was always something to go wrong. In the very moment they began to hit their stride, there was a loud banging on the garage door. What fucking next?!

Ceasing play, Eren walked over to the metal garage door and slid it open. In front of him stood a police officer. Fucking great. Standing a good 6 inches taller than the officer, with a good bit of bulk on him, Eren began to wonder how the man even handled calls. He looked as if a strong gust of wind would carry him off despite the muscle his short sleeved uniform top displayed. The only inkling as to how he stood his ground on calls was the stoic expression plastered onto a pale visage with steely blue eyes feeling as if they were peering directly into his soul from behind his glasses. Almost immediately his stomach churned, souring the exact second he recognized the man in the navy blue uniform.

Midnight hair sharply razored at an angle that fell at the slope of his jaw, a temple high undercut, and those eyes. His nightmares were still haunted by those cold, callous eyes. Eren straightened up on instinct and attempted to regain his composure. For everything in the world, he was going to act as if the man didn’t freeze the blood in his veins with his mere presence. 

“Afternoon,” he nodded as he tilted the brim of his captain’s hat “seems like someone called in a noise complaint.”

Blurting out before he could stop him, Jean shouted “Fucking assholes! I’ll bet it was that swamp hag up the street! I’m gonna crisco her slippers the---”

“Jean!” Eren reprimanded with a booming shout. “Calm down. It’s just a noise complaint. Not like this guy’s gonna take us to jail.”

“Nope, but I do need your names,” he mentioned as he removed his hat, shaking his hair to the side. “Mind if I step inside?” 

Fighting the urge to snarl, Eren smiled facetiously and gestured out an arm “C’mon in.”

Returning some semblance of a smile, the officer nodded “Thank you. Now then, I just need your names to take back to the computer. I’m gonna run your names to make sure you don’t have any warrants out. Standard procedure.”

“Have you been living under a rock, dude?” Jean snarked. “Sanguine Shadows? That’s us.”

Attempting to restrain a laugh, the officer cleared his throat “Afraid I’m not much on the live music scene. Names, please.”

Rolling back charcoal eyes, Mikasa sighed “Mikasa Ackerman.”

“Jean Kirschtein,” Jean chirped in from the back.

All eyes were on Eren as his lip twitched up “Eren Jaeger.”

For a moment, he thought he saw a glimpse of fear in the officer’s turbulent eyes before he smiled “Thank you. I’ll be right back.” 

The moment he’d walked out of earshot, Mikasa cringed “Tell me that isn’t who I think it is. Nametag is L. Ackerman, Eren.”

Speaking through clenched jaw, Eren seethed “Oh it is. I wonder if he remembers.” All of the memories he’d spent in that booth in Drips, began to come back to him. It wasn’t the bar that really ingrained itself into his head. The frat parties, the beer, the bathroom of the Phi Sigma Delta where the good officer’s hands had never been kept to himself, the sound of his speech slurring or the snort of the line blow off his bare shoulder. So many tainted memories came whirling back to him the longer he stood there waiting for him to return. Would his name mean something? Did he remember? It’d been eight years since college, since he’d last seen him after getting tossed aside so cruelly when “the novelty wore off.”

When the officer appeared, Eren caught a glimpse of the birthmark behind his ear. It was definitely him. Now, there was no doubting his mind. A little lopsided heart just tilted off its bottom, behind his right ear pinned Levi Ackerman.

“You all check out, so I’ll be taking my leave now. Mr. Jaeger? May I speak with you outside, please?” Levi asked with an overly kind smile. Deciding it couldn’t be the end of the world, Eren followed him outside, shutting the garage door behind him. Whatever was about to be said, he wanted to make sure it was just between them, because he was feeling a tad bit irritable. 

After taking his cigarettes from his pocket, Eren lit one and exhaled a plume of smoke above him “So, how long you been a cop?”

“Couple years now,” he replied casually. 

“Really?” Eren replied venomously. “Telling me the  _ novelty  _ didn’t wear off in the first seven months? There’s a shock.”

Sensing the hostility in his words, Levi recoiled  _ “Excuse me?” _

“Oh, nothing, Levi,” Eren droned as he exhaled a drag.

Confusing knitting his brows, Levi stepped back “I didn’t tell you my name. Do  _ we---” _

Inching closer until he could blow the smoke of his drag in his face, Eren scoffed “People used to say my choice in men was rather questionable.  A guy who fucked me in the bathroom at a frat party, snorted cocaine off my shoulder, pulled my hair, left bruises on my hips from how hard you held me….it truly wasn’t what they expected of me. Was it, Levi? A perfect, straight A, little cheerleader like me, falling for some stupid, frat boy, punk flunking out of his senior year.” Visibly swallowing, Levi’s eyes enlarged owlishly. It seemed like he was at a loss of words, standing there gaping like a fish out of water, all the air in his lungs stripped away. All Eren could do was roll his turquoise eyes and place his hand palm up “Guess you turned over a new leaf. Just give me my citation, so you can leave.”

Speaking after a moment of clearing his throat, Levi shook his head “Wasn’t gonna give you a citation, Eren. Just a warning to keep it down. It was some old bat complaining, but, uh, when you did you move back to town?”

“Didn’t,” Eren answered flatly “I’m just here to play a gig. We’re using Jean’s place for practice before tonight.”

“Oh,” Levi responded quickly, albeit also a bit awkwardly, “that’s why I haven’t seen you.”

Venom seemed to drip off every word he spoke, “Let’s not pretend  _ that’s _ why.”

“Look,” Levi stated firmly as he held Eren’s gaze “Eren, I was a shithead in college. I’m sor--.”

No longer hiding his distaste, Eren snapped “I don’t fucking _ need  _ your apology. I kept your damn secret, and after all the shit you did to me... you  _ owe  _ me. Come to Drips tonight. Tell them you’re there for me and they’ll let you in free. I gotta get back. 8pm. Don’t be late.” Before he could respond, Eren left him standing there, mouth agape. It was nice to see him look so dazed, so bewildered. Calling him out had obviously affected him, and if that wasn’t a delicious thought. Maybe if he could have caused him just a fraction of the agony he’d put him through, then he might call them even. Hell, he chalked it up to them being stupid kids back then, but if he ever got over it? Of course not. It had been so much more than the sex at parties, the thrill, the rush, of being with a man everyone fawned over. Levi had meant more to him that some hookup every frat party.

How sad was it that after all those years, he’d still held out a small flame for him. Damn, he’d looked nice in that uniform as it hugged all the right contours of his body. It looked like he’d put on a bit of muscle, judging by the stretch of the fabric, but he was still the same height, body type, and man he remembered. Like he’d ever be any different. Beneath the uniform was the man with a bleeding heart, the hopeless romantic who wanted to wish his life away on a star. Recalling the times they’d spent in the back of his truck, staring up at the stars, Eren could almost feel the hesitant hand slip into his once again. To everyone else, Levi had such a front as a badass, no shit giving punk, but to Eren he’d been the kid who was scared to be anything else.

No, how could he tell people he wanted to be a paramedic, police officer, or even a doctor when he could be found at the bottom of a bottle, the top of a bong, and at the end of a line at a frat party? Levi had been more than open to him, and he’d mistaken that for a genuine connection. Falling for a con man….he’d been so gullible then. Anything with Levi was a whirlwind of new, exhilarating, and dangerous. He’d not exactly been an angel when he met Levi, but he quickly found himself with a pair of devil horns. Everyone had been so curious about how Levi had changed him, but it was their secret as to what really laid behind the curtain. 

Only two people had known about his romance with Levi and one of them was in the room he’d returned to. Mikasa’s concerned gaze fell on a blind man. Eren didn’t want to dwell on the meeting anymore. He just wanted to practice and get to the performance. A couple of hours screaming out his lungs, belting all the angsty songs, pouring his heart out on a love song, or whatever. So long as he didn’t actually have to see Levi. There was no way in hell that he’d come after what he did. Just seeing him, Eren could tell that Levi had wanted to run the second it all connected in his head. He’d wanted to forget, but, no, Eren wasn’t about to let that happen. Rubbing salt in the wounds was just a little bit of retribution, but it was done. He had a performance to focus on.

Upon their arrival to the overcrowded bar, Eren’s heart began to race. He was absolutely giddy! It looked like there was another stoked crowd which meant that he’d be at home and in his atmosphere the second he took the stage. Channeling the energy from a crowd was something else. It was a rush like none other, so he was beyond ready to get things started for the show of the night. In the moment he stepped on stage, the lights beaming down on him, he heard the roar of the crowd in front of him. Anticipation from every fan vibrated the air around them, the atmosphere so intense that he was just ready to announce the start of their set. Unfortunately, they had to get their things around the stage set up before actually playing. 

By the time they’d finished, Eren took his spot in the spotlight and began to speak “Welcome to Drips! Thanks for coming out!” Taking a pause between the excitement of the crowd, Eren waited for it to die down before continuing “Tonight we’re gonna put on a good show! We really hope you’ll enjoy it. Get a drink, tip your bartender, and get on your feet! Let’s go, guys.” Without so much as another provocation, their sound began to echo off the walls of the bar. With acoustics as marvelous as the ones in the pit of the stage, the music flowed so beautifully. Songs on the set list ranged from the crowd jumpers that got one fired up to the songs everyone hated to love. Eren remembered each song that he wrote, and especially those he’d written back during the implosion of the “relationship” he’d had with Levi.

In honor of the reminiscing he’d been forced to do, he couldn’t help but let loose a few lines from an old song _ “~Ohh, I miss your misery. I miss the late nights, I miss your hands on my thighs, but, you know, the one thing I’ll never miss is your lies. You had me, you had it right, now the only thing you’ve got is you which is more or less a blight. You know the best part, you may have crushed  my heart, but, oh, in the end of this, I’ll be the one to tear you apart!~” _ The breakup anthem, the revenge song, was one he’d enjoyed multiple times over. Even performing it after everything gave him a electrifying rush. With everyone singing along, screaming their lungs out with him, it was just one more giant middle finger back at Levi. 

Looking out into the crowd, Eren lost himself in the performance and let time fly. He wasn’t paying attention to anything except the sound coming from behind him, and the lyrics to the next song the list. At an hour in, their time was up and one of the next bands would be performing to cover the last time slot. Eren bowed out gracefully, hand over his chest, and ducked behind the stage. It was about time to go grab a drink and relax. He was more than ready to wipe off his sweat, drink, and let the rest of the night rise up to meet him. After toweling off, he was on to part two of his to-do list which meant meeting Jean’s boy for a drink behind the bar. 

“Marco,” Eren grinned towards the freckled, doe eyed bartender “rum and coke please. Take your time.” The tall brunette gave him a nod as he tended to other customers before sliding him a glass. “Thanks man.” Just as he took a sip, he’d almost spewed it over the man in front of him. Dressed in plain clothes, a pair of jeans and old t-shirt, Levi sipped casually from the top of his bottle of water. What in the hell was going on? He was not supposed to be there!

Levi smiled faintly and leaned in close enough so that Eren could catch a waft of his cologne “You have a nice sound. Not the kind of music I expected from you though.”

Features scrunching, Eren rolled his eyes “Thanks, I think. You know, I was just fucking with you. I was actually hoping that you wouldn’t come.”

Hissing through his teeth, Levi shook his head “Sheesh, did I leave that bitter of a taste in your mouth?”

Keeping Levi’ gaze, he downed the rest of his drink and huffed “I’d have rather that drink be sulfuric acid than your name.”

“Ouch,” Levi sighed “guessing that song about misery was about me, huh?”

“Gee, what gave it away? I wrote them a couple of years ago when I was still bitter,” Eren explained.

Levi blinked back surprise “Wow, so this you…. _ not _ being bitter?”

“Considerably  _ less  _ bitter,” Eren restated. “Look, it’s been eight years. I get it. Congratulations, you grew up and and out of being that guy. Glad I could help, I mean really, but I gotta---”

“You’re right,” Levi agreed “I did grow up, and I had to get so lost that it took other people to help me get out. After college, I got really into drugs and drinking. I figured if I could numb it, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. What my uncle expected of me, what everything thought of me….but eventually I got sober. A therapist, a doctor, and a friend helped pull me out. I am not saying that I’m a good guy now, Eren, but I do understand what I did to you. I have changed. Please, just know that I’m  _ so _ sorry, Eren.” Finding only a laugh in himself, Eren smiled and grabbed his wrist. This was about to lead down a rabbit hole of conversation that he needed to hear. It was too loud in the bar so taking a step off to the side of the backstage was good enough. No one was around so they could speak as freely as they needed.

Once he stopped walking, Eren leaned back against the wall “Wow, Levi, that was a lot. I truly am sorry for the struggle you faced with addiction. I am. Like I said earlier though, I don’t want or need your apology. I learned a good bit from our time together.”

Curious, Levi inquired “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Beauty isn’t everything, college guys suck, don’t fall for a prick with a bad rap, you can’t spin shit into gold---”

“Youch,” Levi chuckled awkwardly “but you know you’re kinda both the reason I fell harder into drugs and got out. I couldn’t stand seeing what I’d done to you, how much I was warping you, and so I ditched you. It only made it worse. You were the first person in the world that I felt like understood me. We could talk about anything and everything together. Within such a short time I’d told you my hopes, my fears, and my dreams. You never once laughed at me, but I was so fucking toxic for you, Eren. I couldn’t watch you destroy yourself like I had been. I hoped that you wouldn’t remember me, you’d move on, and be better off.”

Eren tried to fathom everything he was hearing “I….well, I did half of it I guess.”

A slight smile tugged the corners of his lips, “Yeah, you did. I saw how badly you spun out. Knowing I did it? I had to numb it, so I did what I knew would get me that way. Along the way I got into trouble, I liked how being numb felt. I finally did remember what you told me though.”

“That it’s your fault if you aren’t being the man you want to. Don’t blame it on anyone but yourself,” Eren muttered softly.

Levi nodded “That was it. I knew I had to stop, I had to be that man I needed to be. I couldn’t do it alone though. I detoxed for a good bit; it wasn’t easy, and I was so sick. God, I just wanted to give up. During that time though, I learned what happened to people like me who didn’t find it in themselves to get help. I heard so many stories that started out like mine. It was one hell of a wakeup call to try harder. When it was over, I got back into shape and decided to be the man I wanted to be. I wanted to help people, help people like me before it gets worse, and I do that everyday.”

“I’m happy for you,” Eren sighed as he held Levi’s gaze. “Sounds like it worked out for the best then.”

“Except they didn’t,” Levi replied “I hurt you  _ so _ badly that it still affected you eight years later.”

Voice raising, cracking as it did so, Eren fought the onslaught of emotion only to fail “How could it  **not?!** I was head over heels for you, Levi! Yeah, we did a lot of things that weren’t good for us. I never got to rebel or be wild. You gave me that taste, but that’s all I wanted. I wanted  _ you _ more than anything else. I thought, quite foolishly, that you felt the same way. Now, you’re telling me, eight years later, that it was for my own good?!  **NO!** It wasn’t! You could have said it somehow else, to my face, back then! Instead I found myself wondering a lot about my self worth. My self esteem plummeted, Levi, my grades tanked, I got so depressed that I had no energy to do anything for months. I thought I was just worth the speck of fun I could give someone. In therapy, songwriting just came to me, so I guess I owe you a bit of thanks for that.”

“I’m so sorry, Eren,” Levi reached out a trembling hand before thinking better and lowering it between them. “ I was a shitty 21 year old kid. I never did know how to tell you that I was just as crazy about you as were about me. Every day I could see twinkle in those ocean eyes. Eren, I was in love with you, and I couldn’t let you fall so far because of me. I’m sorry I was a coward, I’m sorry I scarred you, I’m sorry that---”

“Stop apologizing to me,” Eren blurted. “I hate that I wanted to say everything under the sun to you. I wanted to rub salt in every festering wound of yours that I could find, I wanted to make you feel worse than shit, I wanted to make you pay for leaving me in such agony when I was so impressionable.... I wish I still had that ire burning hot in my blood. Now, I’m just confused. My head is spinning, and you’re here telling me that you were in love with me. You’ve changed, and I can see it. I almost hate that you have, because I could have told the old you off. I don’t even know what to say to you right now. You hate yourself for what you did, more than I ever could….”

Offering a tender smile, Levi chuckled “You were always the better one with words, Eren. Weird to see you practically speechless.”

Frown creasing his lips, Eren pouted “It’s not my fault! How am I supposed to react?! You tried to think for me and failed. What if I could have been the one to help you, Levi? That’s what I wanted to do. I wanted, more than anything, to be the one you leaned on, the one who guided you, the one who went through hell and back with you, and the one who understood everything about you. Somewhere along the line I fucked up, I guess. I wasn’t strong enough for you to see me as capable of being your equal.”

Gaining the courage to finally place a tentative hand on Eren’s cheek, Levi chuckled bitterly “It wasn’t _ you _ who failed that task. I wasn’t nearly strong enough to st--hell, I wasn’t  _ worth  _ staying by your side. So many things were wrong with me. Getting my life together….I needed that, Eren, and I am sorry for everything. Don’t think it was your fault. I wasn’t in your life at the right time. Now my time has passed me by, and you’ve done so well for yourself. I suppose you’ve got someone now. I hope he---”

“No one,” Eren corrected “I can’t get along with people long enough to keep them around. Therapist said anger management would help me control my outbursts, but anger management said I had underlying problems that my therapist should help with. Unfortunately, the consensus is just that I have unresolved issues and the anger stems from never getting closure. I’m not too worried about it. I wind up moving around to a couple different states thanks to the band doing so well. How could I ever handle someone else in my life when I can barely handle myself?”

“How like you,” Levi replied. “You know, I remember a lot of things, like how you fall asleep just a few minutes after a shower, how you bury your face into the pillow when you want to scream, or how you always used humor to hide what you’re really thinking. I may have changed, but at heart you haven’t changed all that much. I also remember that temper of yours. ”

Against his will, Eren’s lip twitched upwards “Hah, yeah, still my way of coping. That and songwriting. I remember having to get a temper with you sometimes, when you wouldn’t dry your hair properly, for one example. Yelling about why you didn’t just tell them about us outside the parties. All those people prying, wondering what we got up to in that bathroom….wondering what a cheerleader and a frat boy could have in common.”

“I remember looking at you that first party wondering who the fuck invited the pep squad asshole,” Levi snickered “but lo and behold I ended up getting drunk under the fucking table. Everyone thought you were gay, because pep squad, but I found myself willing to discover it the practical way---”

“By shoving your tongue in my mouth,” Eren grinned “and telling me I had the most gorgeous eyes you’d ever seen afterwards.”

“You were too stunned to react,” Levi continued “so I just laughed---”

Eren interrupted “And tried to be  _ so  _ cool, only to fail because you were so drunk already. You almost kissed my chin the next attempt, and then I had to take you up to your room and make sure you didn’t die of alcohol poisoning.”

Nodding, Levi chuckled “I was so fucking tore up that I dragged you into bed with me. You stayed with me, let me do whatever I wanted to you: lay all over you, drool on you,---”

Recalling the next memory not as fondly as the others, Eren shuddered “Almost puke on me. Yeah, that was the night that led to it all. I remember you asking why I stayed when I didn’t know you, and when you’d kissed me so suddenly earlier.”

“Which you said, ‘I wanted to know if you’d been serious’ in response. I was so floored I hadn’t any idea what to do next except really wish I’d been sober,” Levi responded with the next piece.

Sighing as he closed his eyes, Eren laughed softly “Haha, you wouldn’t have done anything. You fancied yourself a man of that punk reputation in the public eye, but behind closed doors you were just another bleeding heart waiting for someone to listen, to care. You were so sweet. It was entirely unexpected. I think that was part of what attracted me. I got both sides that I wanted. Sometimes I got to feel like being with the popular punk was the best forbidden fruit while the hopeless romantic beneath it gave me the security, the warmth of another body beside me who, I thought, actually cared. Without the drugs you were afraid to even touch me sometimes, like I’d break if you did.”

“But _with_ them,” Levi cringed, retracting his touch “I was too rough with you. I remember seeing those bruises on your skin, matching them to my fingers, and not remembering everything. Bit and pieces would flash through my head. We were normally both so drunk we couldn’t see straight, not to mention stoned out of our minds, at those parties, but that doesn’t excuse how I acted towards you.”

“I always enjoyed it, Levi, I liked you a little rough….but, are you telling me you don’t remember all the---”

Smirk dancing across his lips, Levi chuckled “Oh, I have enough bits of different times to recall a few of the best parts of our time together.” As much as he wanted to hate Levi, wanted to hate everything about him, and the way he’d waltzed so easily back into his world like he belonged, some piece of him wasn’t allowing it. Why couldn’t he bring himself to run? Run and never look back. Everything was morphing into something he’d always wanted again. Levi had always been someone he wanted. Still knew just what to say, the silver tongued snake. Maybe his therapist was right: face the past, settle it, get closure, and he’d feel better. The longer he stared at Levi the better he felt.

“Why don’t I hate you?” Eren whimpered, voice shaking. “I know you’re not the same, but I want to hate you….I just  _ can’t. _ In fact, the more I’m able to come to terms with everything, the more I find myself wanting to kiss you instead.”

Levi’s eyes rounded in surprise as he took in the words Eren had said “Wha---I---Goddamn it, I don’t even care!” Without a second’s hesitation Levi threw one arm around Eren’s neck while the other pulled his hips into his own. Falling into the corner of the stage, Eren no longer cared about anything else. Kissing Levi, feeling that teenage angst melting away, Eren couldn’t help but urge him for more. Body acting on instinct, Eren held Levi as close to him as possible. The scent of cologne was so familiar, reminding him of the better days they once shared. Levi had been through so much, changed his life, done better, and made himself into the man Eren knew he could be. Was it so wrong to want that again? Want what he’d hoped Levi would be in the first place?

Breaking the kiss, Eren frowned “What the _ hell _ is wrong with me?”

“Shitty taste in men is my first guess,” Levi smirked devilishly “but right now you taste an awful lot like rum, which I’m not supposed to be partaking in.”

Taking a step back, Eren placed his hand to his mouth “Oh shit, right, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he responded quickly. “Besides, I kissed you, didn’t I?” Levi stepped forward, placing a hand on Eren’s jaw “I’ve met a lot of people in the last six years, Eren, and I’m still willing to bet you’ve got the most beautiful eyes in the world. Still like endless oceans, a paradise etched into an iris, and the most calming sight for a drugged out frat boy.” That fallen expression forming on Levi’s face reminded him of the face he used to see when they’d wake up after a long binder. Exhausted, dazed, hungover….at first that was what he remembered before the next thing hit him. It was that look Levi always gave him that accompanied a tender touch. The look like he was the only thing in the world that mattered, he recalled it so fondly.

Perhaps they didn’t have to think about the past. They’d both been horrible versions of themselves back then. Now, they were adults making their own ways in the world. Surely, if Eren could forgive him then they’d both have something to put behind them. If he’d had that thought a couple of hours ago, he’d have wanted to strangle himself. Nothing in Levi’s eyes betrayed him though, everything seemed to radiate the truth. Justifying his own thoughts to himself should have told him that he’d wanted it anyway; that he knew he was going to do it no matter what.

Grabbing a hold of Levi’s jeans, fingers slipping behind the button, Eren smirked and tugged Levi back to him. Before anything else, he wanted his own little taste of nostalgia. He could see that Levi was the perfect mix of concerned and curious. Playing on his desire to have the upperhand at all times, Eren knew that he could work Levi like a puppet. He’d never forgotten just how to make him do what he wanted. Of course, most of the time he used his methods with good intentions. Levi knew that too. 

What Levi didn’t know was what Eren had in mind when he began to lead him away from the stage. The first time he’d lead him away had ended well, why not let him continue. With all the noise it was drowning out their words half of the time anyway. It was better they find a quieter spot to talk. Eren stopped him just before ducking into the backroom of the bar, knowing that Jean and Marco often had a dalliance or two in the room. He’d covered too many times for the pair, even going as far as to help Marco with the bar if need be. 

Marco seemed to have notice him slipping into the room, to which Eren winked and pointed down the hall. Dangling a key in his hand, Eren made sure the brunette got the just of his intentions. A knowing smile spread the corners of Marco’s lips before he nodded and returned to his work. It was definitely nice to have friends in higher places when it came to the kind of thing that Eren had in mind. Guiding Levi without mentioning his thoughts was also part of the thrill. Old memories already began to creep into the back of his mind, recalling just how many times they’d been those gross college kids.

By the moment Eren shoved the bathroom door open, Levi cleared his throat and looked up to him “Are you seriously proposing what I think you are?”

Turning around to lock the door and flip over the cleaning sign, Eren shook the key in front of him “I am. See, I have the lovely benefit of knowing my drummer fucks the bartender. It helped us get gigs here pretty often, because of that it got us pretty popular. Luckily for us, that translated to opening for bigger bands, producers hearing us, and allowing us to headline at big events all over the states. It also, unfortunately, meant I had to cover for them when they ducked out to the store room for a quick fuck. Now, they owe me a favor or two, and I plan on taking it right now. Old time’s sake?”

“You must be pent up to want to have sex with me in a bar bathroom we’ve already spent so much time in together,” Levi chuckled, only half joking. “Stall two was it? Wonder if your name is still carved into the door.”

Eren nodded “It was, and it is, but it’s not like we need one. I borrowed a thing or two from Marco, so we can take all the time we want.” Dropping the key in the sink, Eren leaned back against it and yanked Levi to him “Can I ask something?” Levi nodded, so he continued “One of the stranger things I heard of people detoxing is how sensitive it made their body. I know it’s been a bit since then, but sex is an artform and I’d like to enjoy myself too.”

Levi ghosted the back of his fingers across Eren’s cheek “Then call me Picasso, sweetheart. Detoxing makes everything that touches you feel like an angel’s hand on your cock. All that numbness goes away and it’s suddenly like you can feel a lot more than you ever wanted to. It fades within a week or two, so you don’t have to worry about me not getting you off. Have I ever been lousy in the sack?”

“Never,” Eren rasped as he inhaled sharply “so don’t start n--” Levi didn’t so much as let him finish his words before he stole them. His fingertips immediately worked to unbutton his shirt as he focused on tasting Eren. The rum didn’t mean anything to him, in fact, he wanted it gone. Kissing Eren to the point where he could no longer get the alcoholic twinge off him made him push harder. It had been years since they’d had this moment, but it felt like they were just two horny, high, kids in college with nothing else to do but each other.

Levi’s actions struck Eren as desperate with the way his fingers fumbled over themselves in a rush to unbutton his shirt. It wasn’t too far off from his own actions though. Already popping the button of Levi’s jeans, shoving his hand down the front of them, Eren wanted to enjoy his time with Levi, but he wanted it right then. Screw waiting for too long. He’d already waited far too long to have the talk he’d needed with Levi. Eight years overdue, Eren was sure to want his makeup sex from the whole fiasco. Maybe he hadn’t entirely forgiven Levi for everything, but he was about to work it off. 

Tugging Eren’s lip in his teeth, Levi pulled back from their kiss just as he slipped his hands into Eren’s pants  _ “Damn, _ you’re impatient. Some things never change.”

“Shut up and put your mouth to better use,” Eren quipped playfully. Moving his hands from Eren’s hips beneath the tight as sin denim, Levi took his time feeling out Eren’s body. Doing the same, Eren slipped his hands up Levi’s stomach discovering his chiseled core. Being a police officer had definitely been nice to him, and seeing him with a bit of muscle on him reminded him that he was more than a picture of health now. He did want to see just how much, however, so he began to languidly glide his hands up to Levi’s chest, bringing the fabric up with them. 

Deciding it was best to go ahead and discard it, Levi tossed the jacket he was wearing over the stall door, followed by his t-shirt. Staring in awe, Eren bit the corner of his lip and returned his hands greedily to Levi’s skin. He’d noticed then, the bronze poker chip around Levi’s neck, a note of his sobriety and took it between his fingers. That in itself was enough proof for him that Levi was already a better man. He’d met his gaze while holding it in his fingers, just before kissing him softly.

“I’m proud of you,” Eren whispered sweetly. 

Levi placed his hand over Eren’s as it held the chip  _ “Thank you. _ Really.” The shaky sincerity in his voice caused Eren’s chest to constrict, his heart already thumping frantically. Releasing a hold on the medallion, Eren slid his hands back down his chest, his stomach, down his hips as he followed the faint trail of hair leading below his jeans. The cut of Levi’s muscle plunged into his jeans, a route he also wished to take, so Eren followed it next. His fingertips traced down the porcelain spanse of skin until he returned a hand down Levi’s jeans.

A low growl vibrated Levi’s lips and his fleeting words were replaced by a hard bite at his throat. Levi pushed Eren’s open shirt off his shoulders, continuing to mark his old territory. Recalling Eren’s more erogenous spots after eight years should have been difficult, but for Levi it was a permanent memory. He knew Eren’s body likely better than he knew his own. Eren wouldn’t have disagreed with it either, as he couldn’t help but quiver the moment Levi’s mouth began to trail down his chest. Those silken lips knew exactly where to lavish his skin, where to pull his skin to elicit the best sounds, and Levi’s hands were just as skilled. 

Before he knew it, Levi’s teeth were dragging down his zipper and his pants were being inched down his thighs. Instinctively, Eren rushed his fingers through Levi’s hair, letting the raven strands fall loosely through his grasp. A flirty little hum sounded in the back of Levi’s throat as he removed the small packaging of lubricant and the condom form his pants pocket. Rising back up to his feet, Levi placed the items on the edge of the sink before returning to pay Eren every ounce of his attention. Skimming a hand up Eren’s body, Levi waited until his hand had reached Eren’s jaw before jerking him forwards. Kissing him roughly, Levi’s teeth pinched his lip before rushing to deepen the embrace.

Trembling mewls found themselves suffocated in Levi’s kiss just as he’d slipped a hand between Eren’s thighs, his fingers kneading against his strained erection through the taut fabric of his boxers. Surrendering to the flurry of action, Eren clutched Levi’s hips and sank into the roar of the fire in his gut. Oh, how he’d missed Levi….his touch, his scent, his passion. Everything about Levi’s life had changed, but the way he loved was the one thing that no one could ever warp. Being able to let go, give himself over to Levi was something he’d never expected to do again. 

Once upon a time he’d been such a high strung, constantly stressed out teen in college attempting to do too much at once. When he was with Levi, nothing seemed to weigh him down, his head was clear, his chest constricted when Levi gave him that lazy smile only he got to privy to; he felt lighter than air and Levi was the anchor keeping him from drifting away on the breeze. Levi had been everything he needed at the time, even if he’d brought some things into his life that he wasn’t sure of. Getting stoned and a bit tipsy didn’t seem like it was much of a problem at the time, but as he got older he knew he was just masking everything. It was exactly what Levi had done, just on a less severe scale. Could he even truly blame Levi for everything that had happened? No, but he did blame him for how he handled it. That was all he could do, and Levi was making up for it.

Knowing that he was going to have absolutely no coherence to do so if Levi continued, Eren pulled away and wished to have his own go at Levi. Before, he’d been quite shy in those moments unless he was sauced. Now, he was more aggressive than Levi likely remembered. Sliding his hands down Levi’s lower back, taking a good, long moment to survey the curve of his ass, Eren let his hand drop before easily switching their positions against the sink. Levi blinked back his surprise quickly, not giving it a moment’s thought before bringing Eren back to him. 

Taking it as his cue to do as he wished, Eren began to repay Levi’s generous ministrations. Marking his throat, a spot he knew to be above the collar of his uniform, Eren took his time in darkening a piece of his skin. He wanted to Levi to remember this moment long after it was over. Willingly turning his head to allow Eren more room to work, Levi sighed contentedly and let his arms wrap around Eren’s back. From what he could remember, Eren had always been a bit toned thanks to his choice of being on pep squad, but he’d gotten broader, gotten more trim, but his honey tanned skin was still as perfect as he remembered. Letting Eren work him as he wished was a nice change. He’d gone from the good boy with a rebel streak to a grown rebel with a wealth of confidence, aggression, and sex appeal.

Just as Eren’s hands slipped him from his jeans, Levi drug his fingertips into Eren’s back “Mmm, Eren, this side of you is perfect.”

“You think so?” Eren purred sensually by his ear. “Hope you weren’t too happy, because you owe me. Working just isn’t in my plans for the evening.” Levi scoffed and gave him a smirk before seizing his lips and switching their places. Of course he wasn’t going to make Eren do anything for him; he was right, he did owe Eren. He owed Eren so much more than he could ever come to understand. Displaying just the smallest trace by indulging themselves in an old romping ground was more than one way to get that across.

As his tongue slipped past Eren’s lips, he let his hand delve into Eren’s boxers securing a grip around his cock. Stroking him firmly during their kiss, he drew beautiful whimpers of pleasure from Eren. The bathroom amplifies his sounds, yet the bands performing would drown it out for anyone aside from them. Exactly how he wanted it; loud yet private. Delighting in the freedom of Eren’s inhibitions, Levi continued his actions until he found it time to step it up a bit. Retracting his hand from Eren’s shaft, Levi then ended their kiss before giving a Eren a smile that sent a shiver of pure arousal down his spine. Twirling his index finger, Levi gave him a silent instruction, and Eren obeyed without hesitation.

Turning to face the mirror hanging in front of the sink, Eren braced his forearms along the porcelain and gave his hips a playful wiggle. Hearing Levi clear his throat as a result only made him giggle under his breath. When Levi reached to get the items he’d left on the sink, Eren snagged them just before he could. Exasperated with his antics, Levi held out his palm waiting for Eren to simply place them in his hand. 

Eren winked and handed him the condom, while the lubricant package remained on the sink “You don’t get this pleasure. I think I can manage myself. ”

“Oh, I get to watch? My, you’ve gotten bold in your years, Eren,” Levi growled lowly “but do  _ not  _ tease me.”

“Why? I want to make you watch me fuck myself before you’re allowed to,” Eren retaliated as he then placed a hand on Levi’s chest, shoving him back a pace “so stand back, and watch.” Stepping out of his shoes, flinging his pants and boxers off to the corner of the room, Eren bent over the sink. In the mirror he could hold Levi’s gaze as he slathered his fingers in the lubricant. Planning to make him so impatient had always been Eren’s plan. Surely Levi hadn’t thought that it was going to be that easy to be with him. No, he wanted to torture him as much as possible before they both got something out of the deal. 

Beginning by reaching behind him to plunge a single digit into himself, Eren accompanied the action with an exaggerated moan of Levi’s name. Licking his lips as he watched Levi’s composure crumbling made everything all the more worth it. Opening himself up with a thrusting, twisting finger was already beginning to make him antsy, so, after a moment of softening the muscles in his body, Eren added a second finger. 

_ “Ahh, Levi!~~”  _ came a sharp inhale as it lulled out into a wanton moan echoing off the walls. Levi’s teeth firmly clamped his lip as he watched, hand in his boxers, tightly coiled around his cock. Eren grinned devilishly as he watched him, only spurring his actions harder than before. While having a bit of fun for himself was great, he was feeling his own desire for Levi bubbling low in his stomach. A carnal lust clawed at him, urging him to take what he wanted, but he knew that for this to be worth it he needed to be patient. 

Continuing in lieu of his own urges, Eren opted to up things once again. While the two fingers inside him stretched the muscles, widening the area, rubbing against the walls so pleasurably, Eren dropped a hand to his cock. Beginning  a subtle twist and thrust synced in time with the pump his hand around his cock, Eren let every mewl and moan tumble off his lips, enticing Levi beyond measure. The second those probing fingers made a sharp thrust against his prostate, a surprised yelp left Eren’s lips before his skin shivered. Levi’s brow arched in surprise at the sound, but nonetheless kept his focus on him. 

Eren stopped a moment to catch his breath and beckon Levi over to him “What are you waiting for? I’m not getting off until it’s your name in my mouth and your cock in my ass.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’ve got a filthy fucking mouth, Eren?” Levi replied as he sauntered up to him, hand smoothing down his back.

Feeling the warmth of Levi’s palm following down his spine, Eren shuddered “Levi, when I open my mouth no one  _ ever _ complains.”

“You mistake my comment for a complaint,” Levi replied in a toothy grin “when it was really a compliment. I wanna hear more of that filthy mouth. Will you let me?” 

“Depends on how you fuck,” Eren stated as he turned his head over his shoulder “so hurry up and stop talking.” Levi nodded and paused as his hand came to a stop at Eren’s bare hip. Fingertips curling into the bone, Levi jerked him back a bit. Stopping only to roll the condom over himself and apply the remaining bit of lubricant left in the tiny package, Levi hastily prepared himself. While he pressed a delicate kiss to Eren’s shoulder, he roughly secured his hand once again to his hip and began the push into his body. A rasped pant left Eren’s lips at the entrance, the bubbling lust now an overwhelming possession demanding to be unleashed.

Fully enveloped into Eren’s body, feeling the intense heat of his body's muscles tensing and releasing around him, Levi began a gentle thrust of his hips to allow Eren to adjust. Nails trying to rake into the sink, Eren’s fingers curled around the edges in a futile attempt to ground himself. Levi’s grasp on him tightened, as Eren’s body acted on its will to seek more of the intoxicating pleasure rushing over his body. After he could feel Eren pushing back against him, desperately seeking more, his hold around Eren's hip was used to drag him back harder into each thrust of his hips.

Levi whispered harshly “What’s the matter Eren; I can’t hear you anymore?” As he opened his mouth to speak, Levi’s thrust drilled directly into his prostate, forcing the air from Eren’s lungs as his reply. If he had a filthy mouth then was Levi’s teasing considered that as well? Hearing him speak like that reminded him of the old days. Levi’s mouth had been the death of him, that salacious smirk, those perfectly pale lips saying anything under the sun just to make his heart race out of his chest. It didn’t matter anymore, honestly, as the way Levi’s thrusts continued in their hard, quick rhythm. 

_ “God~~ Levi! Harder!”  _ Eren screamed as he finally found his words. Obeying his demand, Levi reached up to knot his fingers into Eren’s hair, jerking back hard as he dragged him into the thrust of his hips. Breath stunted by the action, all Eren allowed himself to feel was pleasure. The sharp sensation of Levi’s fingers in his hair, the almost painful feeling of Levi’s bony fingers digging into his hip, but the ecstasy coursing through his veins….combined it felt as if ascension was near. His head was light, with no conscious thought, his chest constricted with the labor of breathing, his body was all in control of Levi, and he’d never felt a rush like that. 

Eren’s mind blanked with a thick haze as Levi’s hand in his hair vanished, only to reach around the front of his hips and stroke his cock in tandem with each thrust of his hips. Forcing him faster to a climax he could already feet tightening in his gut, Eren wished his strangled, wanton cries of Levi’s name wouldn’t have exited sounding so desperate, though they were exactly that. He was desperate for it to continue, to be prolonged, the longer he was able to gorge himself on the euphoria overwhelming his senses. Levi, however, was too skilled a remembering just how to please him and pushed him to apex.

Climaxing with a barely coherent string of curses and Levi’s name, Eren’s endocrine rush cascaded over him. Urging Levi along to his own through using the remaining bits of his stamina, he rocked his hips back to meet Levi’s erratic rhythm. Feeling the slack in his grasp, the increase in pace, and the stutter of his hips, Eren gave it another thrust before Levi was calling his name like a whispered litany. Reveling in his own euphoric release, Eren took a moment to catch his breath. Levi was collecting himself as he managed to clean up by way of tying and discarding the condom in the trash. Making a quick clean up to the poor floor, Eren cleared away any trace of their presence from himself and the bathroom before pulling on his clothing. 

Leaning back against the sink, Levi took a deep breath “Goddamn, if you haven’t gotten better at knowing what drives me wild.”

“Please, Levi,” Eren scoffed “give me some credit. I’ve always known, just never had to courage to do it. I used to think you were so out of my league, you know? I was only 18, I hadn’t exactly been with anyone, Levi. I remember everything about you. You’re ticklish on your sides, you hate onions and pickles because their flavor is too strong and it ruins whatever they’re on, your mother died when you were barely six, your uncle raised you in a horrible environment, you only went to WRU because you wanted to get out of the house, you used to have four piercings, you’ve got a tattoo on your lower back of a swan, you’ve got a tilted heart birthmark behind your right ear, you love Tootsie Rolls, tea, and cheese, oh, and you’re allergic to cats. You were my first many things: my first boyfriend, my first partner, my first love, and my first _ heartbreak.” _

Chuckling, Levi nodded “That’s incredible, and I know I can’t possibly ever make up for what I did to y---”

“Why can’t you? Don’t recall not giving you that option, Levi,” Eren smirked. “This was one of  _ many  _ things you can do to begin making it up to me. After that, well, it’s whatever we decide isn’t it? You’ve become everything I hoped, _ I knew, _ that you could be. Why would I not want to see what that’s like? Life gives us more than we can handle at times, so when good things get dropped in our laps we can appreciate it. You were right, you weren’t put in my life in the right time….but what if that right time is _ now?” _

Stunned, Levi pushed a hand through his sweat dampened hair “Do I even deserve to have you thinking like that? Is it the booze?”

“Pain broadens our resolve, Levi,” Eren offered “but maybe I didn’t click with anyone, because it was always supposed to be you. I dunno, that sounds lam---”

“No, it  _ doesn’t, _ ” Levi interrupted “I’ve always been kina hung up on what happened between us. I never thought I was capable of a relationship after that. I’ve only been out about 5 years on the force. I had the academy before, but I mainly focused on myself.”

Eren wracked his brain before he questioned Levi “Are you saying you’ve not been with  _ anyone _ since? That’s fucking eight years!!”

“Calm down,” Levi shrugged “I had bed partners, but nothing substantial. I didn’t have the time or mental fortitude. Being back with you, though? Feels like I never left….or said all those awful things.”

Sighing, Eren approached him and kissed his forehead “Don’t think about them anymore. It doesn’t matter. I may still be a little bitter, but I’ll try to work my way through it. What happened to you wasn’t---I shouldn’t penalize you for thinking of me, trying to protect, for trying to do what you thought was best for me, but I  _ should  _ for the way you went about it. It was crude and tactless. I can’t even blame you for my reaction to it either. It may take me time to heal, from seeing you again, from learning all this, and really getting through it.”

Befuddled, Levi cocked his head to the side “You’re suggesting we try this? Have some fun, see what happens….if maybe the reason we got slapped together again was something beyond our control? That the only people who understand us are each other?”

“More or less,” Eren replied sheepishly “but it won’t be easy by any means. I move around a lot. I drink….but if you can’t be around it then I’ll st---”

“Eren, I am a lot stronger than I look,” Levi corrected. “I can handle it if you want a beer. Alcohol doesn’t interest me anymore. Have something almost destroy you and you’ll know better than to look at it let alone touch it. I think it’s sweet that you’d even offer, but I’ll be okay. Look, I’m in a bar right now and I’m fine. Don’t always be on the guard that I’ll relapse, hell, with you, I’d have  _ everything  _ I ever wanted. What reason would have to drink?”

Attempting to brush off his embarrassment as his cheeks flushed, Eren laughed awkwardly “Haha, well I promise I won’t let you have a reason to relapse. You’re already the man I knew you could be, Levi. That’s why I want to try, we’re both better versions of ourselves….we aren’t acting out, looking for something to numb, or looking for distractions. We’re adults. It’s time we start acting like it.”

Retrieving the key from the sink, Levi pressed it into Eren’s palm before looping an arm securely around his waist “Thank you, Eren, but if you’re saying what I think you are, well, then it’s time we get outta here. We’ll go have a bite to eat and figure out the rest over a late dinner. My treat. Time to calorie up after that bang, wildcat.”

“Haha! Okay,  _ okay,  _ let’s go,” Eren chortled as he unlocked the door. It was about time he figured out what he wanted from Levi. He thought that was pretty damn obvious. Wanting another chance at the missed first love, knowing that they’d both fallen for each other in the seven months they’d been together, was there something so wrong with that? Life had a funny way of throwing people together again. Maybe this was a sign they both deserved a second chance, a chance to not screw up again, a chance at rekindling what they once had in a better environment, as better people. So long as he wanted Levi, and he did, then everyone would continue to say that, after everything they’d been through, their love was more than questionable; it was downright strange. 

**Author's Note:**

> My three songs were:
> 
> Strange Love by Halsey  
> That's Why I'm Here by Kenny Chesney  
> Fallen Angel by Three Days Grace 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it! If you ever find challenges like this, you're always free to tell me about them and I'll go have a looksee!


End file.
